It’s The Death of Millennial Corniness

Gabrielle Moss
7 min readApr 11, 2022

Burn your monstera plants in a cleansing bonfire.

Photo by Yaroslava Borz: https://www.pexels.com/photo/photo-of-a-woman-with-a-hat-sitting-on-grass-with-white-flowers-10012829/

As you mom may have heard on NPR recently, we are in the midst of a vibe shift. What is a vibe shift, your mom may be asking (she was making pesto while the segment was on and not really listening)? A vibe shift is all things to all people: it’s a spring cleaning of the mind and an obvious ”swingin’ on the flippety-flop”-esque youth culture prank being played on media dum-dums. It’s a collective process of re-awakening from our cultural hibernation and an excuse for 22-year-olds to buy Von Dutch hats. But I mean, duh, it’s mostly just a standard cyclical change of trend cycles, the same kind that happen every few years — you know, the time when all the ads and fashion sites switch over from being like, “You dumb asshole, buy these gladiator sandals, your life is a fucking tragic nightmare without these gladiator sandals, you’re lucky we don’t just shoot you in the back of the head WHICH, TO BE CLEAR, WOULD BE AN IMPROVEMENT ON YOUR CURRENT GLADIATOR SANDAL-FREE LIFESTYLE” to being like “You dumb asshole, you’re lucky we don’t throw you in jail for those fucking disgusting gladiator sandals you’re wearing, BUY THESE WHITE PLATFORM SNEAKERS IF YOU WANT YOUR CHILDREN TO LIVE.”

But this one right now is happening in a more explicit way than usual, probably because we’re all just at home poking at our phones…

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Gabrielle Moss

“I was feeling very depressed, which is how most stories start.” —Amy Heckerling * buy my damn books: https://tinyurl.com/yxd852a2