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Gabrielle Moss
Gabrielle Moss

1.8K Followers

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Apr 11, 2022

It’s The Death of Millennial Corniness

Burn your monstera plants in a cleansing bonfire. As you mom may have heard on NPR recently, we are in the midst of a vibe shift. What is a vibe shift, your mom may be asking (she was making pesto while the segment was on and not really listening)? A…

Millennials

7 min read

It’s The Death of Millennial Corniness
It’s The Death of Millennial Corniness
Millennials

7 min read


Jan 4, 2022

Why do Boomers hate Millennials? Because they’re jealous of us, duh.

You know it’s a slow news day when a newspaper decides to run a generational warfare op-ed. When I find one circulating online, I find it almost soothing, because it means that there are no new major horrors to deal with today — no enormous massacres, no massive uncontrollable fires…

Millennials

8 min read

Why do Boomers hate Millennials? Because they’re jealous of us, duh.
Why do Boomers hate Millennials? Because they’re jealous of us, duh.
Millennials

8 min read


Jun 29, 2021

The Girlboss Era is Over. Welcome to the Age of the Girlloser.

Women are just supposed to just jerk off to our own smug sense of satisfaction, day in and day out, until we’re just piles of Boniva dust. When I turned 28, everyone started asking me when I was going to have a baby. No…

Feminism

11 min read

The Girlboss Era is Over. Welcome to the Age of the Girlloser.
The Girlboss Era is Over. Welcome to the Age of the Girlloser.
Feminism

11 min read


Jun 3, 2021

My Date With ‘The Conjuring’’s Lorraine Warren

Everyone wants a prestige haunting; no one wants their house haunted by the toilet repair man. To get this out in the open: I, much like Rob Lowe, believe in ghosts. In my New England hometown, this was probably the one thing about me that didn’t make me an oddity…

Horror

9 min read

My Date With ‘The Conjuring’’s Lorraine Warren
My Date With ‘The Conjuring’’s Lorraine Warren
Horror

9 min read


Published in

Human Parts

·Mar 1, 2021

I Was a Failed Trophy Wife-In-Training

My mother seemed to think you could catch being upper class, like it was a cold — When I was 12, my mother and I were in this ongoing argument. She wanted me to grow up to become a trophy wife; I wanted to grow up to write one really cool novel and then die while I was still hot. I mean, she wasn’t that explicit about…

Pineapple2021

13 min read

I Was A Failed Trophy Wife-In-Training
I Was A Failed Trophy Wife-In-Training
Pineapple2021

13 min read


Published in

Human Parts

·Feb 15, 2021

That Time My Mom Sprayed Mace in a Bakery

Or, why I grew up thinking all adults are miserable — I never met any happy adults when I was a kid. My parents were miserable, my parents’ friends were miserable, my friends’ parents were miserable, and that was pretty much all the adults I knew. …

Pineapple2021

9 min read

That Time My Mom Sprayed Mace in a Bakery
That Time My Mom Sprayed Mace in a Bakery
Pineapple2021

9 min read


Published in

Human Parts

·Feb 8, 2021

So You’ve Realized You’re as Old as the Mom From ‘Home Alone,’ and Other Millennial Milestones

How to celebrate your impending irrelevance — If you are anything like me — a 38-year-old who owns multiple DVD copies of Heathers so I can still watch it when the grid goes down and the world becomes The Road, even if one of the cannibals on The Road steals my other copy — you woke up…

Pineapple2021

8 min read

So You’ve Realized You’re as Old as the Mom From ‘Home Alone,’ and Other Millennial Milestones
So You’ve Realized You’re as Old as the Mom From ‘Home Alone,’ and Other Millennial Milestones
Pineapple2021

8 min read


Published in

Atta Girl

·Feb 4, 2021

On TikTok For Grown-Ups, Retro Trading Cards & Why Everyone’s Skin Is So Dry

Hello and welcome to another round-up of stories you may have missed from Atta Girl, a publication for women over 30—women who have, through decades of spiritual growth, philosophical inquiry, and raw life experience, finally figured out how they want to part their hair! Women who got in trouble in…

Writing

2 min read

On TikTok For Grown-Ups, Retro Trading Cards & Why Everyone’s Skin Is So Dry
On TikTok For Grown-Ups, Retro Trading Cards & Why Everyone’s Skin Is So Dry
Writing

2 min read


Feb 1, 2021

The Only Way To Save Your 2021 Is By Watching “Celebrity Ghost Stories”

If you’ve spent any amount of time studying biology — by which I mean, if you’ve spent any amount of time getting stoned and watching Blue Planet — you know that nature is all about interdependencies. …

Pineapple2021

5 min read

The Only Way To Save Your 2021 Is By Watching “Celebrity Ghost Stories”
The Only Way To Save Your 2021 Is By Watching “Celebrity Ghost Stories”
Pineapple2021

5 min read


Published in

Human Parts

·Jan 22, 2021

Here’s What It Was Really Like to Work at a Women’s Website

I felt nothing. So I headed to my desk for another busy day of browsing online sales and waiting to die. — I was running two hours late to work on the day I figured out I was really, truly, finally about to get fired. The whole “two hours late” thing wasn’t, like, an eerie portent of doom or anything. I had been pushing my start time back later and later for…

Pineapple2021

15 min read

Here’s What It Was Really Like to Work at a Women’s Website
Here’s What It Was Really Like to Work at a Women’s Website
Pineapple2021

15 min read

Gabrielle Moss

Gabrielle Moss

1.8K Followers

“I was feeling very depressed, which is how most stories start.” —Amy Heckerling * buy my damn books: https://tinyurl.com/yxd852a2

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